Rediscovering the Beauty of Church

 St. Francis Cathedral

As a teenager, I did what Baptists aren't supposed to do. I attended Catholic mass. It should be noted that attending Mass was the least of my improprieties. We'll not discuss those now. On a few occasions I walked into St. Francis Cathedral in Santa Fe, and, while peering over my shoulder to make sure no Baptists were following me, I found a seat and enjoyed Mass.  My most memorable mass was on Christmas Eve of 1989. During that particular midnight mass, it was snowing and there was that great smell of fragrant incense and the wonderful sound of Latin words being spoken.

The Cathedral itself lends itself to spiritual experiences with it's rich history, stained glass and miraculously constructed spiral staircase. One of the things I love the most about St. Francis Cathedral is that the construction was never completed. On top of the two columns on each side of the main cathedral, tall, ornate spires were to be constructed but due to a lack of funds, the project was not completed. It is an unfinished work, like my faith and as architectural geek, there is nothing more powerful than a structure resonating with something deep within you.

I have attended church most of my life and I've tried to get away from church for most of my life, too. My efforts have been hugely unsuccessful. The beauty of church has always drawn me in and the ugliness of it has always pushed me away. Until now.

I am no longer, in fact, a Baptist. I think I have finally given up on my love/hate relationship with Church and here is why. I don't expect much from church. That could sound jaded but let me explain. When you realize, despite what others say, that church is just a group of blind people feeling their way through the dark, then you adjust your expectations. You have to come to grips with your own blindness first. Hopefully the person who gets to lead is just someone who has been in the dark longer than you and can tell you what to expect. But, the point is this: we're all in it together.  It is this, "together" part that is the most beautiful thing about church for me. It's a community. We don't see well, and those that think they do are really the blindest ones of the bunch.

I have decided to stop paying attention to the things I don't like about the church we attend. If she is Christ's bride, and she is, who am I to point out her flaws. Now, if she has a gaping, bleeding wound and infection has set in, well, it seems that it would be kind and gracious to do what I can to bring healing to that place. The church needs all of us to be Good Samaritans to her. If she thinks she's perfect, I have the freedom to go somewhere else where there is humility, openness and honesty.

This year, I am rediscovering the beauty of Church. Here's to less fault finding and more discovering of beauty.