This Is The Last Year of My Life

I'm 39 years old and since I can remember each year there has been some publicized prophecy of the world coming to an end. This year, when the Mayan prophecy was being discussed, I asked myself how my life would be different if I believed that prophecy to be true. Now, to be clear, I'm not a believer. I don't actually believe that the world will come to an end on December 21, 2012. I didn't believe Harold Camping either (don't fret Harold, it's not the end of the world). The point, for me, isn't knowing when the world will end, it's about creating the kind of world I want to live in today.

I have decided, though, to live my life this year as though it's the last year of my life. There are many reasons for this, some discontented things within me, some urgency because I'll turn 40 this year, and there are circumstances that have freed me up some. The truth is, we don't know how long we'll live. We have today. But not really. We have now. This moment. And maybe not another. I have a feeling that if I act as though there's no future, today becomes a lot more meaningful.

I'll be tracking my life on this blog and talking about things that have changed, assuming some things might. I'll also talk about what hasn't changed, what I don't want to change and things that I'd like to do differently.

Today, I changed the tire on the car. I cooked for my family. I ate healthy food and drank a gallon of water. I played Monopoly with Zane and owned him. I hung out with Quinn and watched him ride his scooter and treat his remote control car like it was a puppy. I hugged Jenn more than I did yesterday. I took care of Zach as he recovers from his surgery. Laundry, sweeping the floor, doing the dishes. I took Quinn grocery shopping with me and spent a good deal of time telling him why we were not going to buy Cocopuffs and candy bars. I found myself being grateful for things like a car with a working heater, a spare tire, my friends and family, clean water, access to healthy food.

What would I change about today? I would have taken Quinn up on his offer to ride the other Razor scooter. I would have spoken with my Dad when he called (Jenn spoke with him). I would have told Jenn how much she means to me first thing this morning because who doesn't want to start their day that way.

There's talk of having Bailey's Irish Cream with Jenn tonight and I'm off to call my Dad.

For Now, Wade.