Here's a glimpse into the things that come into my mind at 2:00 AM. I realized, very early this morning that I misspelled Henri Nouwen's name in my last post using a "y" instead of an "i" at the end of his name. It is not a worthy reason to stay awake at night and I got over it fairly quickly, thankfully.
I also laid awake thinking about where I'm at with this last year of my life. This week I'm realizing how much energy it takes to remain relevant in today's world. At the same time I'm reticent to give in to what seems to be an absolute need to be relevant despite my valuing authenticity over relevancy. Still, I signed up for a Twitter account and have 10 followers who will be disappointed with my tweets to be sure. I have 150 characters to say what's on my mind. But first, I've been instructed to read articles about what should be tweeted and what should remain in my head. I hate the whole thing, honestly.
Can one be relevant and authentic at the same time or are the two at odds with each other?
I am having to radically reinvent myself and find new ways to sell myself to potential employers. "Overqualified" is the word I keep hearing. Gray hair scares people and having big titles on my resume seems to scare them as well. How does one say "I promise not to steal your job" in an interview. Or, "I'm really not overqualified. In fact, I'm really not that good despite what my resume says." Come on...if I'm overqualified then the 40-50 grand a year you want to pay me means you're getting a good deal, right?
The idea has entered my mind more than a hundred times to go into business for myself...again. Drudgery. I have an idea of starting a non-profit that benefits the homeless but it's a terrible time to try to get something funded. I've also toyed with the idea of starting a grant writing business and doing some consulting, which I've done before. Whatever the case I have to do something.
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